AS rather than BSN

Those of you that know me, know that I have been pursuing getting my RN for roughly 5 year's  now and yet here I am working as a CNA with no degree...

Start at the beginning...When I originally got accepted into college my first thought was, "what on earth do I want to be" (this seems to be a pretty normal response). I decided I want to be a Pharmacist I was fairly good at Chemistry in high school so this seemed to be a perfect fit. My first year in college I did well...but college chemistry is nothing like high school chemistry ha (go figure)..I decided to go meet with a counselor in the pharmacy department...needless to say I left crying and never looked back again. This is when I decided maybe nursing was what I wanted to be. I knew I wanted to do something medical related just wasn't quite sure which route I wanted to take. Luckily most medical related degrees have fairly similar pre-req's so this was going to give me time to figure it out... I had gone through 3 years of pre-req's and was ready to apply to the nursing program! I was so excited to send it in and be finally moving in a positive direction with a light at the end of the tunnel...In October is when they send back your results via email as to whether or not you were accepted or not...Needless to say in the middle of my class I got the rejection email...which basically said sorry you were not chosen please look further into other degrees that ISU has to offer... Now being a newby to the whole application process...this email seemed a little blunt and basically I took it as you suck and nursing is not the right path for you....SO I dropped out of college for a semester to collect my thoughts..I didn't have any idea what the hell I was going to do with my life. Luckily, I HATED being out of school so that summer, I had saved up 1800$, to go to summer school and I was going to give this nursing thing one last shot! I brought my GPA by .4 points which is a significant amount and now I was not just going to apply to ISU I was also going to apply to BSU. I got my second rejection letter from ISU during my O Chem class while the 8 other students I study with all got in. I politely excused myself and cried for at least 3 hours. I had worked so HARD!!! I got a part time CNA job to gain experience, to help further my application. Nothing was working.

Yet again, I took a semester off to see if maybe I could just be a CNA for the rest of life and this was all I was ever going to be. HA! that lasted a whole month and I decided there was no way I could only ever be a CNA. I was meant to do more. How embarrassing though to be given 2 rejection letters and now have wasted 5 years of college.

I always knew the Associate program was an option but I thought I would be to embarrassed after all the school I have had to just only be getting an Associate... I have told very few people that I have been applying to CSI and CWI. I was so embarrassed that I was going to have to be going to a community college that only my best friends and family knew about it. 

 

I had received this email letting me know that I am ranked in the Top 5 at CSI for the nursing program and I was so ashamed to have decided to possibly attend this school that I kept it a secret (except of course to my friends and family) But I have decided something....All those rejection letters has just made it that much more important for me to become a nurse. I may not be able to take the normal route but dammit I am going to get there and I am going to be proud of the accomplishments I have made even if it is not the  BSN program!!

"Be grateful for all the obstacles in your life. They have strengthened you as you continue your journey"

"Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you respond to it"

" One of the happiest moments ever is when you feel the courage to let go of what your can't change" 

 

Used to be my life!

This weekend I decided it was time to get some much needed cleaning done and boy was I glad I did. I went through my grandmothers trunk which I had modge podge with a bunch of photo's a couple summers ago, but besides the point I found a Birthday Card for me from my 16th birthday that all of my former soccer players/friends/sisters had signed. It literally brought tears to my eyes. I wish I could explain the bond we all had! I spent 4 years with this girls and I would like to think they knew most everything about me.... They were so much more than just my soccer team, these girls were my family! 

I was so nervous going to Pocatello High School because I went to Franklin Middle School and all of my friends would be going to either Century or Highland, so I was walking into Poky High with friends that I hadn't seen in two years, needless to say it was nerve racking! Luckily, I ended up with such an amazing group that High School was completely wonderful!

I could never explain to these girls/women/sisters/friends  how much I love and miss them!  While I am glad that we have all moved on from high school, I couldnt be more proud of the people they have become!

Players:
Adrianna- rocking her own style (like normal) seems completely happy with her life!
Adria- Partying it up with Kendra and Ashley in Moscow!! wish i could be there!
Ashley- studied abroad in Chile WOW 
Kendra- made the move to moscow! and seems to be lovin life
Emily- Married and is applying to med school!
Kirsten- Graduated from college looking to applying to law school
MAdeline- Just got accepted into Nursing school!
Andrea B- Just got accepted into Nursing SChool!!
Kenz- I just reunited with and she sounds like shes doing fabulous
Katelin- Married and Graduated from dental hygiene school and has a beautiful baby boy named Nixon!
Chelsea B- Working at BWW and going to school, has been in a serious relationship and seems to be loving it
Allie - graduated from college, living in Pocatello, and of course doing the rodeo thing! Shes the same Allie only a little older :)

If this isnt the best group of women a girl could grow up with I don't know what is!!
I love you all  
           

A new believer

 I have not been a religious one in the passed, quite frankly I was probably more anti religion than anything else. When I started dating Phillip back in 2006 he had encouraged me to go to church with him and I loved it but was afraid to tell anyone because my family is so anti. Although my family was not for the religious thing I really enjoyed it and secretly was excited to go to church with him whenever I could. When he and I ended it I gave up on the whole idea of being Christian and going to church. I would like to say that I have always maintained faith. While I may not have been a church goer I did believe that miracles could happen without anybodies help, except for perhaps a higher power, but I had no idea about anything else.

With everything that has happened to my family in the passed 6 months I had really been considering going back! I was terrified, nervous, anxious, excited (pretty much every emotion you can think of). Then came to the point which church do I go to?? Do I want to go alone? How well will it fit into my life style? All of these questions somehow managed to help the procrastination process. A friend of mine Tara was going to a Christian church in Inkom and I knew if I wanted to start going in Pocatello she would be willing to go, so of course I asked. This answered the questions as to whether or not I wanted to go alone and the answer was HELL NO! Now to find a church, she had heard that Rocky Mountain Ministries had services and they were more modern and "come as you are" kind of church, which sounded like it would fit me to a tee.  So we decided to put aside the fear of going and just go! Our first Sunday turned out really well, everybody was extremely nice and more than welcoming!I felt incredible I knew that I was missing something and whether or not this filled that void is still predetermined but the fact that I felt better is certainly a start.

I am not one for preaching and loath when people try to push there religion on you or discuss with you there religious view when you could really care less. I always felt like they were trying to make themselves sound better and make you second guess the way of life you have chosen. So please while reading the rest of this blog post do not get the impression that I am trying to encourage you to be Christian or make my life seem somehow better than yours, I just want to share what I have learned this passed Sunday because it so helped with what I will be facing in the next couple weeks and just maybe it will help one of you!

This Sundays service was all about dealing with troubled times and man do we all face troubled times and sometimes it takes the best of us and brings us to our lowest points. Sometimes in life you feel alone and while something to consider is that while you may be standing all by yourself you are never alone. When our pastor said these words it really stuck with me because I can think of many times when I felt that I could go no further and how I was alone in this whole situation. What a comforting feeling to know that I was never alone and never have to feel that way again. John 14:27 " Peace I leave with you, my peace I give with you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." 

While I may be completely brand new to this I left church this Sunday with a sense of peace and comfort and this week I have some big steps that I have to take and somehow I left that Sunday afternoon without a care in the world, knowing things will work out.

At first I felt like this was about a significant other but I now have a little different outlook. Sorry for being so long winded, I will update later on my Weight Watcher adventures!

Goals for 2013

I have never really thought much about doing a New Years Resolution because I would really like to not put any standards on the following year, I just want to enjoy my days and continue to realize how truly blessed I am and how much my prayers can benefit others. This year though I thought what the hell?! I mean its not a completely horrible idea to want this year to turn out really well right? 

Goal 1: As usual weight loss will forever be on my "New Years Resolution" list but more than just losing weight, I want to learn to change my habits and be happy with the success that I will accomplish. I do not wish to lose a certain amount of weight but I strive to not give up and continue to work on being a better and healthier me!

Goal 2: I will not give up on my dream to become a nurse. Lord knows I have had an immense amount of road blocks in my way but I continue to move forward. My goal is just simply to not quit on something I so desperately want. Every road block that I am faced with, somehow manages to make me stronger and wiser when it comes to applying to nursing school (God knows me all to well) I tend to learn best through example. :) 

Goal 3: This last goal is to simply be a comfortable and happy ME! I need to learn to not put my life up against somebody and provide judgement unto my own. I have a wonderful family and at some point this year I will strive to be ok with who I am in every aspect. I am single, a student, a C.N.A, a gym lover, a music enthusiast, a big sister, a daughter, a believer, and many more. Am I better than anybody else, of course not, but I am me and I cant wait to meet someone who welcomes in all of me as I am about to. :)

I will be alright if I don't accomplish these goals all this year but if I at least start towards a weight loss goal, closer to a nursing degree, and beginning to feel comfortable with myself than this year will be a success!

Reno (part 2)

The drive to Reno was fairly long (roughly 8 hours, but could be considered 9 with all of my moms pee breaks ) but we had a ton of fun!! It was so great to see my grandparents and spend the New Years with them. My grandparents actually live about 20 minutes outside of Reno in Fernley NV (if you have never heard of this town don't feel bad it literally has nothing their). We spent most of our time enjoying each others company, making extravagant dinners and playing the Wii. We did do a little shopping in Reno and boy was that about a million times better than Pocatello ha.

We also came across a car who had parked in two spots and didn't pull up very far and I was so excited to see how somebody had responded, so creative without being belligerent and vulgar. I came to love Reno and the more I look at that city the more I want to live there! The way my mom put it was " Its like SLC without all the Mormons" haha she nailed it!!! I guess the search is on to figure out where I'm going to nursing school and where to go in the next chapters of my life!

My mom was feeling a little diva side to her being back in Nevada!

"If your father was as good at pulling out, as you are at pulling in, we wouldn't have this problem"

Boise and Reno (part 1)

It has been an insanely wonderful and busy couple of weeks. I got to spend some much needed time in Boise with my dads family, it was so great to see them all. It sure seems like everybody is doing really well and although I only live 3 hours away I didn't seem to have enough time to catch up with what everybody has going on. I was in Boise for 4 days, and unfortunately I caught the worst cold EVER (I am just now getting over it 2 WEEKS later) it was so fun looking at Christmas lights with the kiddos and spending an insane amount of time with my cousin Jess and her sweet bebe Kenyon. Can you believe I was there and didnt take any pictures??? Not a single picture, I was either super busy or the cold got to me. Lets just say it was a great Christmas weekend.

When I got back from Boise I had two days at home to do all my laundry and work a few shifts and then it was off to re-pack and head to Reno Friday morning. I was more than excited to spend New Years in Reno with my grandparents. We dont get to see them much but when we do its a perfect time!!

Oh yea this is what happens when you wake up 3 kids early in the morning to travel! We get into messes and take disgusting pictures :)